NOTE: "The Chopstick Diaries" are reprinted with permission from Joel/Kennie.

mmmghozlan: i'm a .....

mmmghozlan: a..

a_chopstick: a.

a_chopstick: Wow. o_o

a_chopstick: I've never met a letter of the alphabet before. That's cool.

mmmghozlan: a

a_chopstick: Pleased to meet you, Mr. A.

mmmghozlan: mee too chopsticks..

a_chopstick: So, what's it like being part of the alphabet? there must be a lot of people that want to get into that top position, you know.. be A.

mmmghozlan: yes..

mmmghozlan: i'm proud of being an a..

a_chopstick: Yeah. Especially an ENGLISH A. You dun wanna be one of those like, Japanese A's. They have some nasty kung-fu action going on there.

mmmghozlan: arigato gosaimas

a_chopstick: I heard that Japanese A's like to mush all the English V's and R's up and make this thing they call "Engrish."

a_chopstick: and they eat it for breakfast and shit.

a_chopstick: That's like cannibalism. So do you have any tactics to protect yourself from the oncoming thwarts of Japanese Kanji?

mmmghozlan: nuka ghaisut

a_chopstick: I'm sorry. I'm an illiterate chopstick. could you talk in english, please?

mmmghozlan: yais..

mmmghozlan: za beoble in za garden

a_chopstick: what about the people in the garden?

mmmghozlan: za beoble were very boor..

a_chopstick: boor? where!?

mmmghozlan: za beebol in za story of a tale of two citiz

mmmghozlan: za beebol were very boor ..

a_chopstick: ahh, i see.

a_chopstick: The Beebowl was very boor.

a_chopstick: Well, thank you, Mr. A. You have enlightened me in the ways of Alphabet.

a_chopstick: I will think of you, every time, I read through my "Big book of words" and reach apple.

mmmghozlan: yais ...i am i is i are i was i were

mmmghozlan: yeais..

mmmghozlan: a abble

mmmghozlan: b ball

mmmghozlan: also za word ball haz an "a"

mmmghozlan: cat

mmmghozlan: haz an "a"

mmmghozlan: dagger

mmmghozlan: haz an "a"

mmmghozlan: elefant

mmmghozlan: haz an "a"

mmmghozlan: giraffe

mmmghozlan: haz an "a"haz an "a"

mmmghozlan: eversing haz an "a"

a_chopstick: wow, it does. [note: after reading this, I realized that this sentence doesn't. XD]

a_chopstick: you're so neat.

mmmghozlan: sank u

a_chopstick: sank? but I'm not in water..

mmmghozlan: no u didn't understand..

mmmghozlan: sank you..

mmmghozlan: i sank u...

mmmghozlan: sanks

mmmghozlan: merci..

a_chopstick: ah, ok. o.o


royalaxe2: HEY A/S/L

a_chopstick: I don't really have an ASL.

a_chopstick: I'm a chopstick. o.o

royalaxe2: YER CRAZY

a_chopstick: No I'm not.

a_chopstick: Look at my ID.

a_chopstick: a_chopstick.

a_chopstick: o.o

royalaxe2: UR REEAALLYYCRAZY

a_chopstick: Enough of my problems. Lets talk about yours.

a_chopstick: o, come on. Humour me. I'm an intelligent Chopstick. I can play along. I mean... I'm taking the time to type this out with my head, aren't I?


a_chopstick says, I mean, I was made in Korea and all.

Kamoku_Ryo says, Ya you were..

a_chopstick says, I've seen all. o.o

Kamoku_Ryo says, By a ripoff community.. you're low quality!!

a_chopstick says, I happen to be a high-quality brand chopstick, thankyouverymuch.

Kamoku_Ryo says, Oh you're high quality?

a_chopstick says, O yeah.

Kamoku_Ryo says, Prove it. o_o

a_chopstick snaps out of his box, openin' a can of KOREAN chop-stickin' action.

Kamoku_Ryo says, XD

a_chopstick says, Waarrrrrrrriiiayyyy!

Kamoku_Ryo says, Oh.. so that makes you high quality??

a_chopstick all, goes kung-fu on Ryo. o.o


Kamoku_Ryo says, Let someone test you on their food.

a_chopstick says, I didn't snap, did I. XD

Kamoku_Ryo says, XD Not yet..

a_chopstick splinters. o_o

a_chopstick says, Damn.

Kamoku_Ryo says, but one knows one has to be sauced up and all to be really tested.

Kamoku_Ryo should try you in some teriyaki chicken??

a_chopstick says, I've been up more assholes than you could possibly count - I'm durable. XD

Kamoku_Ryo says, Oh.. I thought you've been down more mouths than you could counts..

a_chopstick says, You know, I've been tehre too...

a_chopstick says, Hey, they stick me up there, I'm a chopstick. My rights were taken away by the chinese government.

Kamoku_Ryo says, Them chinese government wankers.......

a_chopstick says, It was probably an unwise idea to show up to that riot in tianamen square....


tonguetwister0015 says, hey chopstick

a_chopstick says, Hey. o.o

tonguetwister0015 says, so whats up with Kamoku?

a_chopstick says, He's my agent.

Kamoku_Ryo says, Yes I am.

a_chopstick says, 'cause its hard to be a lovable utensil in this foon-eat-spork world.

Kamoku_Ryo says, And this I tell you.. is the best chopstick one can buy or talk to.

Kamoku_Ryo says, So go ahead, PM the chopstick, talk to the chopstick. Learn all about the chopstick and what makes the chopstick a good one.

tonguetwister0015 says, k i think i'll take u up on that offer


bettle_1001: hi

a_chopstick: hi.

bettle_1001: care to share ur problem n i will try to help u

a_chopstick: okay......I'm a bit nervous...

bettle_1001: y?

a_chopstick: but here goes nothing...

a_chopstick: asking for help isn't really the first thing on a chopsticks mind, nowadays...

a_chopstick: ok..

a_chopstick: everyone always PM's me for ASL. But how do i answer that? I'm a chopstick. They all get mad at me when I tell them the truth.

a_chopstick: its not my fault that I'm only 2 months old... and was made in korea........

bettle_1001: ok

a_chopstick: so what DO i say?

a_chopstick: Should I lie, and forget my morals? Or do i Tell the truth, and get ignored?

bettle_1001: if the person is truely want to be ur friend u can tell them

bettle_1001: but this kind of people is hard to find

a_chopstick: ah, ok. so if we got into like some serious relationship, then I'd want to tell em...

a_chopstick: yeah. It is.

a_chopstick: Not a lot of people want to date a chopstick, nowadays. Since those vibrators came in...

a_chopstick: sorry, i got booted. I'll repost.

a_chopstick: a_chopstick: Not a lot of people want to date a chopstick, nowadays. Since those vibrators came in...

bettle_1001: yeah

bettle_1001: if a person truely love u

bettle_1001: he/she will not mind who u r

a_chopstick: Yeah.... aww thanks. :) You make a chopstick smile, y'know.

bettle_1001: welcome

a_chopstick: it all makes perfect sense... thank you.